As the Coronavirus dominates news sources and breaks social media, more and more people are beginning to show signs of suffering the effects of something experts are calling ‘Coronavirus Fatigue’.
Professor Drake O Rourke, a lecturer in social studies at Leeds University explained:
“A mixture of self-isolation, being constantly surrounded by loved ones and hounded by the kids, is starting to take its collective toll. People are beginning to fray around the edges. Weary of hearing or reading about Coronavirus, talking about Coronavirus, sharing Coronavirus memes and even dreaming about Coronavirus, people are starting to experience something very similar to culture shock.”
Thought to be worst affected by the effects of ‘C19 Fatigue’ are freelance writers for satirical news websites who are constantly and relentlessly under pressure to come up with ‘amusing’ articles about Coronavirus and, in the course of a single day, might write the word Coronavirus several hundred fucking times.
“People need comedy at a time like this more than ever,” O Rourke said as he no doubt relaxed at home with full sick-pay while the rest of us literally wear the ends of our fingers to the bone typing out this shit. “It’s vitally important to take regular breaks from social media, the news and even conversations with friends and family.”
O Rourke went on to suggest, “read a book, watch a movie, play a game. Ban the word Coronavirus in your household for at least a short time so everyone has a chance to recoup their sanity. Most importantly, take advantage of that one exercise per day rule to clear your head.”
Symptoms of Coronavirus Fatigue (there, see, I had to write it out again) are thought to include irrational anger, exhaustion, paranoia, depression and a tendency to project extreme irritation onto an innocent party.
Yet, for some reason, symptoms don’t include a desire to pick up the keyboard and use it as a blunt instrument to bludgeon the fucking dog who won’t stop asking to go out for a piss even when it doesn’t need a piss and just wants to go and check if the lawn still smells the same as it did ten minutes ago.
“Some people won’t be feeling the effects as much as others.” O Rourke went on, “key workers, couriers, postmen and those who are keeping busy, won’t be experiencing it in the same way as family members who must stay isolated at home all day or who have now been forced to use the house as an office. Empathy is crucial, so if you’re not suffering from C
No. I can’t write it again. I won’t and you can’t make me.
Anyway, O Rourke said a bunch of other stuff which I’m sure is all very fucking interesting. A lot of blindingly obvious advice, like don’t talk about it if you don’t want to. Well what if you have no choice O Rourke?! What then you bastard?!
In other news, Professor O Rourke is a great big jerk and a stupid face.
It used to be Brexit. Brexit Brexit Brexit. Five million times a fucking day I had to write Brexit and now it’s this. O Rourke knows don’t you O Rourke you bastard. He was behind Brexit and I bet he’s behind this. Him and the 5G masts.
Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I have my whisky. So long as I don’t listen to the voices. The voices are bad. I know that. They tell me things though. Things you wouldn’t believe. Things about O Rourke. Oh yes.
I’ve been collecting all the matches. It will be magnificent. Like bonfire night but instead of Guy Fawkes, it’ll be that git O Rourke, aka Professor Arsebadger Fucknuckle. Let’s see who feels ‘fatigued’ then.
Editor’s Note: if you think you might be suffering from Coronavirus Fatigue it’s very important to take regular breaks from the internet, the TV news, newspapers and any work you might be doing that brings up the subject regularly. Keep regular work hours when working at home and remember to get some air. Have a lie down. Stay sane and safe in these trying times.