A Number 10 insider has revealed that Dominic Cummings believed he was justified in travelling 250 miles to his parents while infected with Covid-19 because he was “just doing his bit for herd immunity.”
The insider insisted that Cummings believed his parents would fall ill, helping to push forward the ‘glorious moment’ when everyone in Britain is immune to the virus, saying:
“When that day comes we will all be able to leave our homes, throw our hats in the air and enjoy some proper British celebration in the form of Morris Dancers, a pint of stout and racism.”
When reminded that the government had long claimed it was no longer pursuing a herd immunity strategy, the insider said, “well, yeah, but, you know… that’s just something we say. Anyway, now’s not the time to get political.”
A number of high profile front benchers, including Dominic Raab, Matt Hancock, Michael Gove and Grant Shaaps, along with a gaggle of Tory sympathisers today took a similar stance with a unanimous bleating of ‘two legs good, four legs baaaad’, insisting Cummings was justified in his flouting of lock down laws and urging the public not to make things ‘political’.
Meanwhile, those who feel the extraordinarily hypocritical behaviour of Cummings was entirely unjustified are asking whether the Conservatives are no longer a political party, but a cult.
Lecturer in Anthropology at Imperial College London, Professor Malcolm Chambers, said, “followers of the Conservative party now fulfil all the criteria of a cult.”
“They are brainwashed, willing to sacrifice their quality of life, health, principles and money, worship leaders of the cult without question and consider anything that contradicts those leaders a threat and anyone who disagrees with them an enemy.”
“Under such circumstances, facts and reality will, unfortunately, have no effect in changing the persuasions of such people. Their minds, bodies and souls are devoted to the cult but their brains are no longer their own. Their leaders, who represent the principles of the cult, are beyond reproach.”
Right-thinking members of the public, who are not a part of the cult, today demanded to know why, when the government insisted that everyone should stay at home and, if sick, self isolate at home for a minimum of 12 days by law, Dominic Cummings was not subject to the same restrictions.
Update: it has now been revealed that Cummings visited his parents more than once.