British people showed their support for American protesters railing against injustice and inequality today by getting very very passive aggressive and nudging a traffic cone which subsequently fell over a bit.
Several British people tutted loudly when reading news about the injustices visited upon black Americans, while others even resorted to shaking their heads and pursing their lips.
The outpouring of national emotion, which one commentator described as ‘heated’ came as American demonstrators took to the streets in their millions to protest racial inequality.
Andrew Finchley, an accountant from Surrey who describes himself as ‘so white I tend to vanish when standing in snow’ said, “I was utterly appalled to hear about the endemic racism currently running rampant in America. I was so angry, in fact, that I had an extra cup of tea with two sugars instead of one.”
Angela Bansbury from Weston-Super-Mare described her feelings as ‘overwhelming’, saying, “in solidarity with the good people of America I sniffed several times with indignation then had to have a lie down.”
Meanwhile, in the nation’s capital, anarchy reigned as British protesters used strong language slightly louder than would normally be acceptable and mentioned in passing that the situation in America was ‘simply not cricket’.
The entire island is expected to take a long weekend to recover from the unusual outburst of emotion and to have a good long think about its behaviour, though analysts predict the British will decide they were in the right and will not need to apologise profusely to anyone.
John Hutchinson, an Anglophile who studies British habits and politics, said, “the Brits will need to apologise anyway. It’s what they do. Even if they haven’t upset anyone or caused offence they feel a need to say sorry.”
“Imagine the guilt you might feel if you accidentally ran over a kitten then backed the car up and accidentally ran over another kitten. Now amplify that by a thousand and you’re at the base line level of guilt most Brits wake up with on an average day.”