Trump Made Honourary Member of Ministry of Silly Walks

President Trump has been made an honourary member of the Ministry of Funny Walks following his ‘silly walk’ to visit St John’s Episcopal Church near the White House during the protests in the wake of the death of George Floyd.

Trump joins an elite group of honourary members, including Theresa May who was awarded a top spot in the Ministry in 2018 for her ‘Doing the Robot’ silly walk.

Former PM Theresa May ‘Doing the Robot’ which many considered ironic as Theresa May was, in fact, a robot.

Matt Hancock was awarded a position last year when he was seen attempting to run normally and inadvertently invented the ‘Batman to the Rescue’ silly walk.

The Crap Crusader – Matt Hancock invents the ‘Batman to the Rescue’ Silly Walk

Michael Gove, meanwhile, was nominated for a position in the Ministry at around the same time as Hancock for his ‘Running Into a Force 10 Gale When it’s Actually Quite a Sunny Day’ silly walk, but failed to win a position when a panel of judges found his walk to be ‘not silly enough’ and ‘more of a weird jog’.

Gove’s attempt was deemed to be ‘not silly enough’, though Gove himself was ‘more than adequately silly’.

Similarly, Dominic Cummings was disqualified for a coveted position at the famous Monty Python Ministry when his silly walk, entitled ‘Fleeing all Responsibility’ was deemed to be ‘quite silly’ but still ‘didn’t really go the distance’ and was more of a haphazard run than a silly walk.

Dominic’s attempt at a silly walk ‘didn’t go the distance’, unlike Cummings himself, who went 250 miles.

A spokesman at the Ministry today congratulated the President on his achievement and described Trump’s walk as ‘very silly, both in execution and context. President Trump achieved a lumbering axial rotation every third step with a stooped shoulder inversion and hunch backed return on every fourth rise.”

“More importantly, Trump was walking through the post-riot detritus of Washington to stand in front of a church run by priests his goons had just tear-gassed to preach about America being the greatest country in the world. Which, of course, was all extremely silly.”

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