Bane Wears Mask to Rob Bank, Gets Commended For ‘Social Responsibility’

Batman’s arch-enemy, Bane, has been commended by thousands on Twitter for attempting to execute the world’s most audacious bank robbery in a socially responsible way by wearing a face covering.

Bane, who slaughtered twenty innocent bystanders and six guards during the robbery on Monday, blew up three high-security vaults then demolished the building as he escaped in a high powered nuclear fuelled jet was hailed a hero for covering his nose and mouth with a facemask, thus reducing the risk of infecting others with coronavirus.

Using an extremely silly voice, Bane said, “the dregs of this world will soon learn to bow before me and acknowledge me as the only true reality. I will destroy this world and when it is done and the world is in ashes, then you have my permission to die.”


Matt Hancock hailed Bane’s example, saying “what Bane has done is highlight the need to wear a mask that covers both the nose and mouth when entering any public building. This is just common sense and the polite thing to do.”

Michael Gove also congratulated Bane on his socially responsible attitude, saying, “if Bane can do it, we can all do it. And that’s the message this government is trying to send by making face coverings compulsory in shops and other indoor public spaces from the 24th July onward.”

Bane, who wants to fuck your shit up, also wants to make sure he doesn’t spread coughs and sneezes

Bane, who complained today on his Instagram that the world isn’t taking him seriously enough, said, “you think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born into it, molded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man, by then to me it was only blinding. The shadows betray you because they belong to me.”

Boris Johnson said in a statement today, “it’s important that celebrities like Bane get behind this idea about face coverings and lead by example. The science is clear, even if it wasn’t clear a couple of weeks ago and may not be completely clear until ten days from now – wear a mask, stay alert, don’t ask questions.”

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